Saturday 29 December 2012

Let's Kill the Rapists. But is it enough?

The headlines for today : Another brave girl dies.
I hope the girl's soul rests in peace, she went through a fate worse than hell, in the past few days. Living this life of pain and endless suffering would not be worth it. My heart goes out to her and her family. It is a cross they have to bear for the rest of their lives, for no fault of theirs.



Countless "protest marches" all over the country. The country mourns. People yelling slogans, lighting candles, politicians shedding fake tears, news channel crews going around asking people what do you want?

I have a problem. A problem with the freaking hypocrisy of it all.

Where have all of you been when countless women get tortured, raped and killed and it is merely termed as dalit atrocity. Where have you been when children as young as three and four get trafficked and sold. And raped over and over and over again. Where have you been when women, young and old are pushed into prostitution and forced by disgusting men who do what they please just because they have 'paid' for sex.

  Why do we need a certain class of society to get hurt before we react? We are creating a pattern here, every year something happens, hordes of people get out on the street, protest, yell vague slogans, light a candle and 20 days later we have moved on. In the end it is the family of the victim who is left with a big gaping hole that they will never ever be able to fill.
Today news channels are all over this story next week they will move on to something else. Oh and the politicians! A certain Mrs Gandhi makes a comment saying "I can understand sentiments because I am a mother." Isn't being human enough to understand sentiments! And where are her motherly feelings when young girls are murdered for dowry, for not being able to give birth to a son, for not obeying rules, when young girls are abused by their own fathers! A news channel said that Jaya Bachan was 'visibly' moved by what happened, when she looked like she was simply enacting a scene from Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham!! Stop with the nonsensical drama!


If you really want to do something, move! Make stricter laws, they are necessary even though Strict laws will not deter all rapists, as I am sure they will come up with methods to get around the law. Now instead of only raping they will rape and kill and make sure that all evidence is properly wiped out!Make them anyway because impunity fuels crime. Bring out more fast track courts, make sure that the ones that are already present are functional. But it is still not enough. What we need is a change in mindset. Carry out mass sensitization programs, everywhere in the country. In offices, colleges, industrial units,rickshaw stands! Begin with crowds as young as school children.Teach children the importance of respect. Condition them to be equal human beings. Have talks that lead to consciousness raising, that make us human beings, so that we cannot ignore someone lying on the street in a battered condition. Have aid groups that women can contact in times of need, without the fear of being ridiculed or dismissed. Increase the visibility of such groups that already exist! The whole patriarchal set up has to change. It's a mammoth task. In the meanwhile teach girls to defend themselves.Now you may say, Of course one girl cannot defend herself against 6 crazy monsters, but the situation we are in today, even if a girl can defend herself against one monster it will give her a longer life.

A rape is rape. It is a disgusting, heinous crime against humanity. It is not a sexual act, it is not an act of aggression  It is a clear signal sent out by patriarchy. A siren meant to keep women in their place. There is a century of conditioning that goes into making a society believe that it must control its women. That women have to be kept in their place, taught a lesson. You can yell hoarse saying we want justice but no true justice is going to come about unless there is a change in the mindset. Unless there is a change in the conditioning. Patriarchy has a context to it. It is not something that comes about one fine day when six men decide to go mutilate and kill a girl. It is important that we understand this context.

Why do I get a feeling that half the people out there protesting on the streets have no idea what they want. We want justice? What justice and for whom? Meted out by whom? We live in a society strictly governed by laws made by men for the benefit of men. These men who are conditioned in a patriarchy to think in a certain way will make the laws... when we get past this stage, if we ever do, another group of men trained in the same way are meant to execute the laws! How is it ever going to work? How can we ever cure the disease if  we only tackle the symptoms? And here by men I don't mean "male members" there are endless number of women who are conditioned in the same way, who believe that women get raped because they "asked for it".
So we can yell slogans all we want, light candles and march but nothing is going to change till there is a deeper questioning. All this makes us feel like we are part if something bigger, we feel like we have done something, which I agree is better than doing nothing, but is it enough? How many of us are going to change our new years plans? In two days we will welcome the new year, and soon this girl, this incident will be "something that happened last year." The only lives ruined will be that of her family and friends, they will have to live the reality of their lives while we will go on with the reality of ours.

All I am saying is that next time before you you light a candle in her memory, just take a moment and think Is this enough?





Thursday 28 June 2012

Time to show some real woman power!!


 One may think that we live in a world where men and women are equal! Gender inequality? Oh u must be talking about the ancient times! We today are living in the 21st century - an equal, brilliant, accommodative, all accepting progressive society!  Alas! One is wrong!
 We as a collective society have numerous ideas that have been engraved into our mindsets that prevent us from easily accepting even a survivor of rape, once we know the truth of her horrific nightmarish life. Instead of sympathising with her and patting her on her back for being so brave and having the courage to start anew, we push away, wrong her, thinking ‘oh it must have been her fault’! Why? Why are we so immature and close minded as a society! Why is everything always a woman’s fault? If she is raped, that’s because she must have provoked him, or she was wearing provocative clothing not because he is just a disgusting animal who is blinded in the quest for ascertaining his power over another human being! Yes power. Rape my friends is not a sexual act. It is an act of power, one that is done to keep the girl ‘in her place’, to show her that if he wants he can render her powerless and helpless and tear her apart, just because he wants to and she cannot do anything about it! If he cheats on her it must be because she can’t take care of him not because he was a filthy dog who couldn’t keep his member in his pants! A woman is blamed even when she can’t give her family ‘a son’, for crying out loud, when anyone who has read a science textbook in class 6 can tell that in truth it is men who are responsible for the chromosome that determines the sex of the child!  Now u may argue, that most people who blame women haven’t read this text book, but again you are wrong! Even Highly educated people living  hollow lives in palatial mansions are still the ones to blame their daughters in law for the absence of a grandson! Why is it about a grandson anyway! A child is a child! A bundle of happiness and joy! But no! We want a boy!
Why? Why are we so mean to women, I say ‘we’ here because we women are not less! We judge other women, call them names. When any of the above happens, we are the first ones to pass careless comments like, ‘if u wear clothes like that, that’s what happens ’ or ‘ maybe she could not keep him happy, if u know what I mean * wink* ’. We don’t wince once before calling other women sluts or bitches! Then who on earth gave us the authority to label men as the bad guys!
In order for this world to become a better, safer place for ourselves, for our sisters and our daughters, we have to change the way we think! We women have to make an effort to replace the archetype that is engraved on our collective psyche with a positive one! Next time you look at another woman and you are about to pass a comment about her clothes, her hair or anything about her stop yourself right there and think again! What right do you have to say that about her? Everyone has a story, everyone has their own reasons to do what they do and live the way they live and wear what they wear! And even if they don’t, they have a right to that! If you can’t say something nice, you’d rather not say anything at all! You may notice that when you start to look at the good things in another person you start to appreciate yourself as well! All your ‘blemishes’ and ‘cellulite’ and other insecurities disappear! Cause only someone who is utterly insecure about themselves can say something mean and judgemental about someone else.  Start looking at the brighter side of their story and see how your story gets better as well. Only when we do this can we proudly strive to change the mentality of our fathers, brothers, boyfriends and husbands! We have to respect ourselves first before we expect these men to respect us.
Some of u may think but what difference will it make if one woman changes her attitude, but hell yes! If one woman can start a world then she can very well change it! 

Sunday 3 June 2012

Imagine


Imagine a world where a young woman can walk down a street without being stared at.
Imagine a world where she can wear what she wants and go wherever she pleases.
Imagine a world where other women respect her choice of clothing and don't call her a 'slut' just because she is flaunting some cleavage.
Imagine a world where men from all strata of society behave like human being and not like animals with uncontrollable urges.
Imagine a world where when a person is raped, exploited or abused it is looked at as a heinous crime by the perpetrator and not as the victim's fault coz they 'asked for it'. 
Imagine a world where no one is raped exploited or abused.
Imagine a world where men understand a woman's right to express herself freely in speech, actions and clothing.
Imagine a world where a woman understands her right to express herself freely in speech, actions and clothing.
Imagine a world where all children have the right to a childhood.
Imagine a world where everyone is equal.
                                       
                        You may say I'm a dreamer, but am not the only one.
                                    I hope someday u'll join us, and the world will live as one...

Eliminate Inequality not women


    DON'T EXIST! 

Don't go out alone at night
That encourages men
Don't go out alone  at any time
Any situation encourages some men.
Don't stay at home
Intruders and relatives both can rape.
Don't go out without clothes
That encourages men. 
Don't go with clothes
Any clothes encourage some men.
Avoid childhood
Some rapists are turned on by little girls.
Avoid old age
Some rapists prefer aged women.
Don't have father, grandfather, uncle or brother...
These are all relatives that most often rape young women.
Don't have neighbours
These often rape.
Don't marry
Rape is legal within marriage
To be quite sure
Don't exist! 

( Insaaf Poster Magazine, Vikas Adnyan Kendra, Mumbai, 1998) 

Wednesday 15 February 2012

Just some revelations..

...I am doing okay, lots of ups and downs! So much of growing up am doing here! In just a few months i have matured so much! Having such amazing revelations! Getting in touch with myself and figuring out life! Hard stuff and not so fun sometimes! Sometimes i have some revelations and i jump with joy and sometimes i cry all night! But its okay! I have my up days and my down days, and its okay. Am learning to accept it all, coz its all part of me. I am learning to love it all and learning to forgive.
Life is hard love, no one said it would be simple, but its the only thing we got and we lucky to have it! Make it simple, uncomplicate and feel wat u are feeling. Dont pretend, not even for a minute! If you feel low, feel low! If u r blah, be blah! So what! When u are happy you dont say,' hey am happy!!'  Let me do something about it!! So then why try to do something about it when you are sad? Just let it be, it will go away. Just let go! 


Get busy doing stuff you love, challenge yourself! Listen to your favorite song again and again and watch your favorite movie! Treat yourself nice! Love yourself and make it about YOU. :) 


Coz you're worth it! ;) Muahahahhah!